Remorse

Dear Diary… Oh my, today was the strangest day! I was taking a walk down by the lake, visiting some friends… when I heard someone muttering! I was so scared, but it sounded like they might be hurt. I had to check. I look over and there was this strange mare. She was very tall, almost as tall as the princesses. She had a pink mane and a white coat, but it was all dirty and matted, it looked like she hadn’t been cleaned in weeks! She was lying right there on the ground, mumbling, with a little stick in her mouth. Oh, I could see her ribs, she looked starved. It seemed as if her foreleg was twisted. I just didn’t know what to do! I couldn’t leave her there, but she was much too large for me to carry. I ran and got help from a bear friend I knew around there. When we went to pick her up, she didn’t seem scared of him at all. She wouldn’t look at me, it was the strangest thing, and she never dropped her little stick. When we got her to my home, I sent little Angel off with a note for nurse Redheart, so she’ll be here soon. I gave her some food, and she’s eating now, but she’s never once acknowledged me, and hasn’t answered any questions I’ve asked… Oh dear, and I felt so sad when I examined her… She looks messy and starved and she has a twisted foreleg. Apart from that, she has these welts, all over her flank, and even her (oh my) private places. Some welts were recent and some  looked very old… It makes me so sad to think, but my guess is she’s been abused. Some wicked pony did this to her… Oh, it makes me so angry. She’s eating now, and nurse Redheart will be here soon to look at her. We’ll just have to see if she wants to talk later, but I’m sure that where she is now is much, much better for her. I have to go now, diary, but I’ll write again later.

Dear Diary…

Oh my, today was the strangest day! I was taking a walk down by the lake, visiting some friends… when I heard someone muttering! I was so scared, but it sounded like they might be hurt. I had to check. I look over and there was this strange mare. She was very tall, almost as tall as the princesses. She had a pink mane and a white coat, but it was all dirty and matted, it looked like she hadn’t been cleaned in weeks! She was lying right there on the ground, mumbling, with a little stick in her mouth. Oh, I could see her ribs, she looked starved. It seemed as if her foreleg was twisted.

I just didn’t know what to do! I couldn’t leave her there, but she was much too large for me to carry. I ran and got help from a bear friend I knew around there. When we went to pick her up, she didn’t seem scared of him at all. She wouldn’t look at me, it was the strangest thing, and she never dropped her little stick.


When we got her to my home, I sent little Angel off with a note for nurse Redheart, so she’ll be here soon. I gave her some food, and she’s eating now, but she’s never once acknowledged me, and hasn’t answered any questions I’ve asked…

Oh dear, and I felt so sad when I examined her… She looks messy and starved and she has a twisted foreleg. Apart from that, she has these welts, all over her flank, and even her (oh my) private places. Some welts were recent and some  looked very old…

It makes me so sad to think, but my guess is she’s been abused. Some wicked pony did this to her… Oh, it makes me so angry.


She’s eating now, and nurse Redheart will be here soon to look at her. We’ll just have to see if she wants to talk later, but I’m sure that where she is now is much, much better for her. I have to go now, diary, but I’ll write again later.

Anonymous asked: When you're ready, I'd suggest: look to see if one of them is in need of something, and try to provide it. It might be that they need a thing, and you've noticed where to find it for them. It might be that they need comfort, or companionship, and you need nothing but your own thoughts and words and actions to provide *that*. In this way you can repay the world, and especially those who have been wronged, if you should happen to see and recognize them with a need for which you might provide.

I will wait and see. I am sure the opportunities will not slip by unnoticed. I am eager for this. I want to know what they have seen, and see how they live. I will keep my patience, however. The day will come no sooner, even if I would like it to.

Influences ((Out of Character))

modlestia:

irishasseen.tumblr.com is heavily influenced by many other sources of media. However, what I would say is the largest influence is the play “Equus”, by Peter Shaffer. It’s very good. There’s a movie version, too.

Anonymous asked: If you seek atonement, be careful that your self-abasement does not take the place of outwards-facing penances. Lonely purification has its place, but it is by its nature unable to repay debts.

All of my penances are thoroughly seen. Though, I hear insight in these words. What penance is there that gives to others? My singular possesion is holy. I have none save birds and other beasts that I can watch-without-hiding.

When the time comes and I am safe to watch-without-hiding the valley ponies, how do I pay my debt to them?

One penance in prayer for knowledge.

I will draw you my home upon my walls, but my canvas and paints are limited. I live here in the mountain. The stones grant me fire and the plains are close. Grass is my plentiful meal. From here, I can observe the wonders in the valley before me. So many things to watch and see. I am not clean enough for them yet. I hope that some day… not yet.

Penance for an idle thought, twice because it saw.

tickingandtocking asked: A switch? Whatever do you use that for? :c

Penances. I affirm my devotion and purity, when the watching-flame is sleeping. Penances are the currency that my life deals in. A penance for a ruinous thought, a penance for disturbing a subject. Twice the penances for a wrongness under the watching-flame. The welts remind me of my old flesh and my past diabolism. A warning. I bear them with no more, or less pride than I deserve.

lich-pony asked: I do hope you are still taking good care of your phoenix, And i certanly hope *shudders* The.. other you is NOT currently caring for her.

…Phoenix? I have a phoenix? I do not recall a phoenix. I know the flame which burned my skin, and the flame in the sky that watches me and made my flesh set, but I remember no flame that flies and sings.

Hello.

I was at a lake, and I met a friend. I was watching and he swam up to me. I showed him my switch. He did not like when I showed him how I use it. He does not like to talk much either.

We don’t have very much in common really, but I think we will get along.

Anonymous asked: What are you going to do now?

I am going to watch without touching, patient, pious and clean.

suddenlyshikers asked: Are you ashamed of your former self, your skin? How do you plan to be different?

She’s still my skin, and we’ve ruined together. I will pay my debts, that’s the difference. She can’t see anything without filthying it. I can keep to myself, watching. That’s the difference.